Most people don’t need a full counselling session in the corridor. They need one person who actually notices them.

I’ve been reminded of this again and again over the years. A small smile. A quick chat. A moment where you pause long enough to see the person in front of you, not just the task you’re trying to get through before lunch. These moments feel tiny at the time, but they can land far bigger than we realise.

That’s why I love the idea of a simple “2-minute check-in”.

Not because it’s clever. Not because it’s trendy. Simply because it works. It’s a small habit that can shift someone’s day, and sometimes it can do more than the big speeches and grand gestures we all imagine we’ll do one day when we have time and unlimited emotional energy.

The heart of it is this: we’re all carrying something. Some people carry it well. Some people carry it loudly. Some people carry it with a smile that convinces everyone they’re fine, when they’re not. A two-minute check-in doesn’t fix everything, but it does something powerful. It tells someone, “You’re not invisible.”

The best check-ins don’t start with a performance. They start with warmth. You look someone in the eye, you slow down a fraction, and you say something real. It might be, “Good to see you. How are you, really?” Or, “I’ve been thinking about you. How are things?” Even, “Quick check-in… how’s your day going?” The exact words matter less than the tone. If you ask while walking away at speed, it becomes a drive-by “how are you?” and nobody needs more of those.

What you do next is the bit that makes it different. You ask one good question and you stick around long enough to hear the answer. Not three questions. Not an interrogation. Just one that opens the door a little.

Sometimes I’ll ask, “What’s been the hardest part of today?” That question gives people permission to be honest without having to build a whole story. Other times I’ll go for something grounding like, “What’s one thing that’s been good today, even if it’s small?” You’d be amazed how often people need help remembering there is still something good in their day. And if it’s a practical situation, I might ask, “What do you need right now?” That one can cut through the fog and move someone from overwhelm to the next sensible step.

Then comes the part we often skip, especially if we’re the kind of people who like to solve problems quickly. You reflect back what you’ve heard. Not with a big speech. Just a simple line that shows you’re listening. “That sounds really tough.” “I can see why that’s getting to you.” “Thanks for telling me.” “That makes sense.” It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be sincere.

This is where people often feel most seen. Not because you’ve fixed anything, but because you’ve stayed present.

Now, here’s a very British moment that will definitely happen: you’ll ask someone how they are, and they’ll say, “I’m fine.”

Of course they are. Everyone’s fine. Fine is basically our national slogan.

If you sense there’s more under the surface, you can gently go again. I’ve used, “If you weren’t fine, what would you say?” Or, “On a scale of 1–10, where are you today?” Or, if you’ve got a decent relationship with them, “Are we talking ‘fine fine’ or ‘fine’?” (This works best with an eyebrow raise. Not mandatory, but highly recommended.)

And if they still keep the door shut, that’s okay. You can simply say, “No worries. Just know I’m here if you want to talk.” Then the important bit is that you actually mean it. Being available is not a vibe. It’s a follow-through.

Occasionally, a two-minute check-in becomes something bigger because someone shares something heavy. If that happens, the main thing is not to panic and not to try to become the hero. You can thank them for trusting you, name that it’s a lot to carry, and ask what support would help. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just need to be steady. And if you’re in a setting where safeguarding matters, care also means doing what you’re meant to do and getting the right support around them.

What I like about the 2-minute check-in is that it’s small enough to actually do. It doesn’t require a special setting or a perfect moment. It’s something you can do in a school corridor, at the end of a meeting, after football, in the car park, or in the kitchen while the kettle boils. Two minutes is realistic. Two minutes is manageable. Two minutes is what most of us can give, even on our busiest days.

And here’s the sneaky truth. When you become the sort of person who notices others, it changes you too. You start living with a bit more purpose. You start seeing people more clearly. You start building the kind of culture where honesty and connection feel normal, not weird.

So here’s your challenge for today. Pick one person. Just one. Slow down for two minutes, ask a real question, and actually listen to the answer.

You never know what weight you might be helping someone put down, even for a moment.

And honestly, that’s a pretty good use of two minutes.

Never miss a Phase blog post - subscribe here